I was hoping that this blog would permit some of my friends to contribute to our experiences of ageing. Finally a friend (aged 66) who was asked to look after an aunt for a month’s holiday sent me the following:
My Aunt Salma
My aunt Salma left her home town of Aleppo aged 22 to marry an old millionaire from Cairo, they then settled in Milano. Now aged 92, and a widow for many moons, she has lost her past glory and beauty and is looking more and more like a bird of prey with a hooked nose, piercing cold eyes that notice everything and fingers that have morphed into bluish claws.
She rules the roost with an iron beak, maybe she always did? But now with her faculties in decline and being dependant on others for her basic needs, she has become a tyrant. Who will she pounce on next?
Are these genetic traits that I will inherit? Maybe I am already a tyrant and not aware of it!
Do we all grow old in a similar way? Do we share common characteristics? I wonder…:
The desperate need to be recognised for who we were and what we have achieved
The need for love given without asking
The need for touch and kisses
The frustration when things are not done the way we want them
The over active brain that cannot settle on the moment, because what is there anymore now? And it races 100 miles ahead, worrying and anticipating, rehashing bad deeds that people have done to us recently or in the past
The obsession with our bodies: where is it hurting today? how high is the blood pressure? Why am I peeing so much suddenly?
Lashing out at carers who are not following the proper routine on how to apply the Nivea cream, the order in which to put on garments
Lashing out at family members who do not care to phone or visit regularly or say thank you for all what we have done for them
Blaming everyone else for everything that goes wrong, it is never our fault
Refusing to acknowledge our limitations and making everyone’s life miserable because we won’t use a wheel chair or a stick or pay for a taxi when we can afford hundreds of them
And I want this and I don’t want that or is it the other way around?
This is all very tiring ….
Nothing really that a good dose of Arsenic 200c cannot solve